Relationship Help | Learning to Speak Kindly in the Hard Moments

Glorifying God in All Things by Nancy Nair

It is really hard to speak kindly when someone hurts you. It is difficult when you are hurt to not retaliate. God always wants us to represent Him; to speak kindly to everyone.  Just because we speak kindly to them doesn’t mean that they will change, it only means that you are doing right before God. God is listening and He will take care of you. It may not be when or what we want, but He is looking down at the problem and knows best. Here is a list of things to say; you can add to the list if you would like to.

  1. That didn’t feel very good.
  2. Wow. That hurt. Have I made you hurt like that?
  3. Have I done something that would make you want to say something hurtful to me?
  4. Oh, my!
  5. Please be kind!
  6. Help me to understand what I have done to you that would make you be so unkind?
  7. Please don’t yell at me.
  8. Please, instead of getting mean, could you let me know how I have hurt you?
  9. If I have hurt you please tell me right away so that I can stop hurting you?
  10. I am really sorry that I have hurt you, could you please forgive me?

If someone keeps doing unloving things to you, find someone who will go with you as you talk with them.  Your goal should be to have peace before all men. If you are the one who is talking about someone unkindly, please stop. Speak only those words that God finds edifying.


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